EF summary part 2

My body is put together partly by what used to be stardust among other atoms. About 99 percent of your body is made up of atoms of hydrogen, carbon, nitrogen and oxygen. All of which you will find other places in the universe. You also contain much smaller amounts of the other elements that are essential for life. We are all related to every human and animal on this planet. We came from and belong to the universe. Therefore I am the universe, a part of it and so are you. We are also concious, so therefore we are the universe's conciousness/ a part of it. That is my main philosophical theory. 

"Human self-reflection is the capacity to exercise introspection and to attempt to learn more about their fundamental nature and essence." -Wikipedia

"One thing only I know, and that is that I know nothing." -Socrates

Logically I believe that the closest thing we can get to the truth is through modern day science, but even then humans sometimes make mistakes. We have to base ourselves on the fact that some things are true, if not we would be getting nowhere, like the fact that 1+1= 2. Mathematics is a language that humans made up, but we need this language to communicate what we observe about the world eventhough our observations might not always be correct. Maybe philosophy could be viewed as a waste of time in modern day society by some. Now that humans have come such a long way, but I could never stop myself from asking questions. I couldn't just assume that my perception of reality was the right one. Or that the collective perception of reality is the right one. Only if I tested it myself could I become certain. Or at least, get closer to the truth. 

When I write something I might agree with myself and re-read it again the next day only to find that I disagree with myself. The concept of time is self-evident and everything is constantly changing. Our opinions change and I believe that our perception of reality changes too, maybe only by a minimal degree from one day to another, but it does change. Every time we learn something new, everytime we go through a new experience. 

Just last week I was very upset about the concept of time and about ageing, which is common for a young woman like me. I've talked to girlfriends who are going through the same emotions. There never seems to be enough time and eventhough we're still young our looks are already starting to change. Then there's the fact that on the inside I’m beginning to feel more and more like a woman. I got angry and I remember feeling angry back when I was a child too because I knew that no matter how badly I wanted to I could not remain a child forever. I changed without agreeing to it and it made me feel like I wasn't in control of anything. I went through some experiences a while ago and suddenly, I didn't feel the same way anymore. My perception had changed. I would still prefer to live forever, or at least for a couple thousand years longer, but I don't feel angry anymore for the fact that my childhood was taken unwillingly from me. I exist and I belong to this universe and therefore also to concepts such as time or the laws of nature. I know this because while most of the cells in our bodies regenerate every seven to 15 years, many of the particles that make up those cells have existed for millions of millennia. The hydrogen atoms in us were produced in the big bang, and the carbon, nitrogen and oxygen atoms were made in burning stars. The very heavy elements in us are made in exploding stars. By knowing this, it would be naive of me to persist upon not wanting to belong to concepts such as time, because if I didn't I wouldn't be at all. 

I always felt a strong connection to nature and a very small distinction between humans in terms of culture or in their physical appearance. I was the kid who would make friends with everybody. It didn't matter to me if it was the Emo kid, the popular girl or the nerd, what mattered to me was what lied beneath all of that, always wanting to get to the core of things. During my quest to get to the core of myself I sort of lost touch with eveything for a while, but now I'm, I guess you could say that I'm back and I believe I am wiser. To me, it was important to question myself and my own beliefs because only then could I unearth whatever I was left with- the truth. Holding onto my anger was both stubborn and childish. I cannot fight with the very core of my being, or with existence itself. Change is a fundamental part of everything and the more I think about it, the more I see the beauty of it. Because things don't only change for the worse, they also change for the better. 

By growing up, well at least I got to experience love and having sex with a man. More recently I'm experiencing what it's like to be able to shape your own life and to make decisions that are different from the ones your parents made. Being an adult enables me to go my own way and to pursue my ambitions. It's a wonderful feeling. Nothing can stand still and I accept that if I die, what used to be my body will eventually be a part of something else. I doubt that I will ever have any children, but everything is still connected and I'm connected to this world.

However, in accepting the concept of time itself, does that necessarily mean that I can’t still slow down my ageing? After all, my being would still be moving forward along with time. Immortality would only ever be possible if infinity existed, but getting pretty close to forever would be good enough for me.

"All species of organisms arise and develop through the natural selection of small, inherited variations that increase the individual's ability to compete, survive, and reproduce." - Charles Darwin

What is God? Humans make up words to describe reality and we all know what a table is becuse we've seen and touched many different tables. Just like we also know what apples are, though each apple will be unique in flavour. God is also a concept. The dictionary describes God in this way:

1. (in Christianity and other monotheistic religions) the creator and ruler of the universe and source of all moral authority; the supreme being.

2. (in certain other religions) a superhuman being or spirit worshipped as having power over nature or human fortunes; a deity

Humans tamed nature, wild animals and came up with inventions nothing short of magic. We’ve already slowed down our ageing some by inventing new medicines and better life conditions. We come from and belong to the universe. We are concious. Who is to say that we are not God? I can also view myself as a part of God which is ironic because it's been said that God created humans in his image. The reason I percieve myself as a part of God is because I am conscious. See, like I already mentioned, I know that I’m put together by atoms that are a part of the universe. Ergo that I am a part of the universe, ergo that to some extent I am the universe, or at least a part of it. So, now I know that I am the universe and also that I am conscious. Or in other words: I am the universe's consciousness. OK, so maybe it would be more correct to state that I am a part of the universe's consciousness. Sharing has actually never been my strong suit. Either way, this could all be another way of stating that I am in fact, "God". Well, that's not quite right either, is it? A more correct statement would be that I am a part of God. 

"Yin and yang is an ancient philosophy describing how seemingly opposite or contrary forces may actually be complementary, interconnected, and interdependent in the natural world, and how they may give rise to each other as they interrelate to one another."

The reason I believe in the philosophy Yin an yang is because I've put it to the test. You would think that being a good person is the right thing to do, yes? I thought so. I thought that I should try being only good, only pure of heart and as close to the idea of "an angel" as I could get to. I tried my best, but the result turned out badly. Over time I almost felt like I was making myself sick trying to force myself into a shoe that didn't fit. My creative work turned out crap. I didn't move forward with my life in any productive direction. Everything about me turned into something very static and I'd have moments when I would lose control and behave badly in a way that seemed worse than before because I felt like I was in such an unbalance. It also made me weak. Over time, I found myself agreeing to things that were actually hurting me and I also became very afraid of making any minor mistake or of acting at all. When mistakes are such a brilliant way to learn and to move in the right direction.

I only dropped this pursuit after an interesting discussion I had with one of my colleagues. We were discussing murderers and whether or not it's right to execute a murderer. I was of course defending the murderer, saying that in murdering him, we would become murderers ourselves and that he should be helped and educated, not punished. I argued that some studies show how most of those who commit murder often suffer from some kind of genetic liability or have been through violence themselves whilst growing up. My colleague disagreed with me and compared me to a white fluffy bunny, unable to defend myself. That mental image of the white bunny stayed with me. I still stand by my arguments about how to deal with murderers, but our discussion travelled further onto other topics and at some point during that discussion I realized that a weak human is a bad thing. I realized that both the darkness and the light is a part of me and that in trying to smother one of those parts of myself I was not a highly functional or good human. I later discovered that this is even a key point in psychology and in determining a fully functioning human.

I need both a negative and a positive force within myself to function properly and I believe that the same applies to the world. Like, what would sunlight look like without the darkness? There would be no sunlight. The best part is that when I reached this conclusion I felt so happy, so liberated. I really like the darkness within me now and ever since I embraced it I've been feeling alright, but I still won't come to the dark side. I simply accept my dark side and try to lead a balanced life. Likewise, our world should be more balanced. 

Sometimes I tend to get a little carried away. Feeling as if I can bend the laws of nature and achieve my wildest dreams of an immortal life, but I must admit that love tends to generate powerfully through those mental images when I'm high as a kite from overwork. The speach I gave in February pretty much sums it up...

No, I am not immortal, that is true. Nor am I totally free and independent. No, I am a part of the whole and I love it. LOVE!!! 

As a solider, a Captain, I would scream it at the top of my lungs with my weapon raised high into the air and no other word would ring out as powerfully. I would repeat it with tears streaming down my face and then I would fight. 

I have to fight against myself too, you know. I also feel a desire toward bad things, I too want to belong to the herd, to be liked, but I'm not afraid to stand out and I can use that as a weapon. I have nightmares late at night of people who are suffering and I know that it's true and that someone is being tortured somewhere out there and that I have let it happen because I could have done more to help and I did nothing! The nightmares wake me with jolts because they're so realistic. I didn't do anything, because it wasn't the right time, because I didn't even want to think about the fact that such horrible things were even happening, because I had my own problems to deal with. It's still not easy, but I have to do something. Everyone can do something!

I am Captain Nina and my goal means something. That's real and if I could achieve that, then heaven is real. We would all already be in paradise because right now, there is already enough stuff for everyone. Enough so that we could all lead that popular luxurious life full of things that we desire such as Chanel, soy lattes, glamorous food, beauty treatments and bubblebaths... Or something like that, whatever gets you off. If we worked together we could have spent our time inventing immortality for that matter and I know it's not that easy. I know that different countries are at different stages in their development in terms of basic knowledge, but at this point the collected amount of intelligence on Earth is enough so that we can succeed. More than enough for us all to live in peace and to educate those who have fallen behind, if we all pull our weight. If nobody is trying because nobody else is trying we'll be getting nowhere. 

We don't have to give away all of our possessions, but we need to find a better balance and switch our focus. From materialism and on to something new! It doesn't mean that we can't still own some new and beautiful things or achieve progress and thrive on it, I love it too, but there is too much excess in this world. Energy lost on stuff that we wouldn't even miss and helping someone who is suffering does not mean that you will have to suffer equally. There is no need to feel frightened. There are other methods than downright parting with possessions such as money that are just as important when it comes to evening out the differences in the world and a part of it is about where we stand mentally. Everything we say and do has a consequence. This is also a way to fight. The important thing is that we try, in one way or another, to do something good. To figure out how best to contribute to the world, because we're all different, we're all unique. You don't have to think about it constantly, or carry around a heart of gold. Like I said, we all got both light and darkness within us.

Charities have gift account numbers where we can decide on the exact amount and date of our gift. It's not hopeless, it's in our hands. Imagine if we protected the planet so it remained healthy for years to come, so that plant species and animal species that are now threatened were allowed to develop for thousands upon thousands of years. Can you imagine the plants that would surround us, the species? I can. We would be safe, because we would have been a part of the whole and of that journey. We would be beautiful, both on the inside and on the outside. Strong, intelligent and powerful. Humans.


There were more, they are still available throughout the post The high class callgirl Alison Jung if you're interested, I will copy them over here when I have the time

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Nina Titternes