We define ourselves. Staying true to an idea, believing in yourself or trying to make a change can be difficult if you're feeling lonely, but if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will. Friends are an important part of life and so is probably your family or any lover or partner, but if you place other people above yourself you might wind up agreeing to things that don't feel OK. That's dangerous, it can destroy lives and it's easily overlooked because we don't want to hurt the ones that we love. It feels like, since we love them so much, that the right thing to do must be to set ourselves aside, but love should be equal and our loved ones can't matter more to us than our own wellbeing. It's normal to wish for other people to admire us, but putting yourself first is not selfish and your most inner self is more important than other people's opinion of you. There are limits that should never be crossed. These limits can seem invisible at times, but that doesn't make them any less important.
If you're hurting yourself to please someone else you will never win. There can be no winners in a situation like that. Others pick up on that kind of stuff very easily, even without knowing it and you don't want to be seen as weak. You don't want to be weak! In some way's, we're still animals and your mate wants a survivor, not a martyr. Because our goal is still to survive and to thrive.
I've been a martyr all my life and I thought that if I just forgave everyone who hurt me and covered up any fault, then everything would be OK, but it made things worse and not just for me. It made things worse for everyone. Now I tell people the truth and they get hurt naturally, even I get hurt sometimes, but it's for the better. People willl appreaciate the truth eventhough it hurts because it enables them to move forward. They'll trust you and maybe even admire you for it. You won't get tangled up in a web full of hurt and you'll feel more confident in your own skin. We're all alone, even with our friends, our family and our loved ones, we're alone because no one can step inside your head and live your life for you. That's why your relationship with yourself is the most important one. Romantic relationships can come to an end, even for people who have been married for years, sometimes people close to us die, friends grow apart. The only one you can be sure that you're going to be stuck with until you die is yourself. The relationship that you have with yourself is the one that matters most because it will affect every other relationship in your life and the quality of your life.
Nobody is allowed to hurt you. Say no, or just leave. If you can't, fight back. You can always speak up and tell the truth, even if you're not sure, because your feelings matter. Love yourself most. It's not wrong, it will only improve your life and the lives of the people around you.
Until next time.